Friday, June 4
God it's early. It should be illegal to be awake this early. I'm only up as I'm going to the SHIP monthly steering group, and I'm only going there as afterwards sandwiches are provided free for the attendees, and I was promised an onion bhaji and mango chutney sandwich. I'm a slut for more things than just hugs, you know.
Last night I was thinking about Rory and his trip away. Several years ago, when I was initiated as a witch, I was told that the Gods would test me to make sure I was suitable to be their priestess. I think we can pretty much say I failed that one with some style. Recently I've been slowly integrating Craft life into my mundane life again, to prepare myself for saturating life with the Craft at every level, so it makes sense that now I would be tested again, to see if I am worthy yet. Why didn't this happen later though, when I'm more able to deal with it, I thought. Then it occurred to me that it wouldn't be much of a test if I was guaranteed to pass it. And there's always the chance that the things which are holding me back have to be cleared out of the way before I can make proper progress. Now admittedly a lot of people would be skeptical of this, seeing as we live in a mostly agnostic / atheist society which is suspicious of any kind of spirituality, let alone one which is a bit more eccentric than Anglicanism. But if it gives me a reason to accept why this is happening, a reason to deal with it and to not let it affect me as previous similar situations have, a reason to want to deal with it and move on, then surely that's a good thing?
09:09
